Happy Anniversary, Chris!

Today marks 5 years since I married my soulmate. It also marks just over 5 years since I believed there was such a thing.

I love you Chris. Thanks for being the heart of my life.

Matt

At One AM

Life lesson to be remembered by me when I feel the light will never come:

I am not my past.

I am not defined by the difficult things I experienced and the bad things that happened to me.

Spending time trying to find meaning, reason and value in things that were garbage keeps one stuck in that garbage. Any lessons I needed to learn from my garbage childhood, I have learned now and I can let it go.

I am not my past.

Thank you so much, Heavenly Father for inspiring my dear friends tonight.

It is the answer I was looking for and I must not forget it.

.

My Name is Pond...Amy Pond.

I suspect only the Dunhams will understand the title right off.

(Hi guys, come visit SLC more often!)

I was going to be such a cool mom. I was. I was going to let my kids have rainbow spikes and dreadlocks if they chose.

(photo from awkwardfamilyphotos.com)

I could say that because, until Parker turned 12, none of them ever wanted something other than a crew cut. The shaggy long look is popular with boys now and when he was 12, Parker wanted that look as well. Once it was grown out- I HATED it.

 I hated it, but it was his head.

I was still cool.

But when I saw him pass the sacrament with that shaggy mess, I decided cool wasn't as important as being the kind of parent I really wanted to be. Being cool is great, but I am not my child's peer, I am the mother and it is my job to be the uncool one if something is standing in the way of something I feel is important to the Lord. The long hair, in my opinion, was disrespectful of the ordinance. They don't want girls wearing flip flops to church, I think long messy hair and not wearing a white shirt and tie while doing the sacrament is a similar thing.

This is not a judgement on any other kids or parents, just something that I realized mattered to me.

As the mother of  3 boys, I needed them to learn how to carry out priesthood duties with respect, reverence and understand they are serious responsibilities and duties. for me, the hair needed to be part of that and mean mom here made the rule-- no hair in the eyes, and it must not come below your dress collar.

That was the rule.

Parker balked at first, but after about a year of being a poop about it, he quit. I am thankful that he now just looks at regular haircuts as part of life and didn't decide his hair was who he was as a person and push very hard. I'm not the queen of parenting with a lot of hard lines, I am thankful that I didn't have to fight on this one, just drag him to the barber every couple of months.

 I don't know if they yet realize the difference it makes to our whole ward when they fulfill this duty with the right spirit and behavior. I know it feels different on Sundays when the priesthood is reverent, dressed in white shirts and ties and the sacrament is passed with no distractions from the young men.

The rule of "keep it clean and healthy" was the one we made for all of the kids.

Roe has short hair because she would rather keep it short than style it neatly. I'd love for her to have long beautiful hair, but she won't brush it without a fight, so she chooses to keep it short rather than mess with it.

Emma had to have the "clean up your look" talk.

Yesterday, it got cleaned up.

With our full support she went ...ginger.

She walked in to the salon with this  picture:

And here is the final color--- in crummy lighting, sorry.

Emma was born to have this hair color.

Her features pop out now, her skin tone looks warm and when you look at her, you see Emma now, not her hair. And her hair looks incredible and healthy.

I hope she chooses to keep this color, I cannot express how much we all like this hair-it is stunning on her.

Next Slide....beep.....

We are home to STAY.

I took 500+ pictures while on our road trip alone. Add that to the NYC photos and we have almost 1000 vacation pictures taken in 2 weeks.

(at the Wind Caves and no...we don't think we are cheesy at all)

I was never going to be that dork who took pictures of animals ands scenery, but I have a ton with only animals and scenery because teenagers will only stand in front and pose so many times before they just start glaring at the camera and making "pain" faces.

(Killer Bison...

Matt could have reached out the window and touched it, but then it would have eaten him and he was our ride)

( I will not admit to possibly taking 20 pictures of these prairie dogs)

Sooo....who is up for an evening of slides and useless facts about national monuments courtesy of the Olson Bunch?

Better make that next week, we are all 'poofed.'

(Grey was actually faking asleep for this picture, but I'd say it was a really good performance, worthy of a blog spotlight.)

The road trip was interesting, we saw some of the most amazing things that God and man have created.

(It was just a little bit windy and cold coming into Yellowstone, by the way the 3 little ones whines abuot it you'd think it as time to gut and sleep in a Tauntaun)

We worried about bears and bison attacks to a degree that normal folk don't.

(Devil's Tower, now we just need the kids to see Close Encounters and they will see why this spot was such a big deal to the old folks.)

We had a massive autistic meltdown at the Sulphur pots because the stink was too much for Greyson to bear. He started to flip out  and refused to walk until we told him they might fine us if he created too much "noise pollution" since there were signs everywhere about pollution.

(He's nothing if not subtle about how he feels...)

Hey, we all define pollution in our own way. Only you can prevent noise pollution.

We tried the Walmart camping thing one evening because campsites were $140 bucks in Cody Wyoming this week when they are normally $35-- NEVER AGAIN. We were all convinced Cowboy Clowns were going to raid the trailer at night- they were more scary in our imaginations than bears. We all had our coming to reality moments when the urge to go potty at 3 am hit and everyone laid in sleeping bags making a bargain with God if he'd just help us hold it until sunrise.

(It was perfectly safe but we have active imaginations, there were over a dozen other overnighters there, but we knew they were all probably chainsaw serial killers.)

(Also, Kate had a birthday- what a way to spend it, wondering if you're going to be killed in a Walmart Parking lot with your sister kicking you in the head all night...)

We were also about a half mile downwind of the rodeo grounds and they have a rodeo EVERY night June-August. That explained the prices, but the stench was awful. I will forever associate Cody Wyoming with one of the seven rings of Hell's toilet.

(See the big C on the hill? It means "Can't we stay in a hotel tonight? We're going to get murdered and it smells like poop here.")

All that time away from the internet and phones left for lots of family bonding, we read aloud, listened to music and saw what weird stuff we could do to freak out those sharing the road with us. Nobody really got carsick until the last day and then we were all pretty bad. Matt drove the whole trip and now sports a sexy Driver's tan on the left side of his body. If I never see another Sun Chip again, it will be too soon- that seemed to be the chip of choice everywhere we went. Bleah.

I hate nature, I hate camping. I hate not being able to afford vacations because we have a billion children more, so would I rather go to a city? Absolutely. BUT if I can't camping in a pop up or an RV is not so bad.

(Just a teensy bit impressed by Old Faithful)

 They have nice RV sites with pools and hot showers and very few Cowboy Clown Serial Killers.

-------------

I also had some serious time to think about some of the things weighing down on my life, some choices I have made to resolve them and an awareness that in an attempt to avoid making some decisions that fall outside of my comfort zone, I just delayed some growth I really desire right now.

I haven't figured it all out yet, I don't have the answers- but I know for certain that the answers I have found are not quite hitting the mark and that's okay.

I'm still learning- it means I'm still clay in his hands and I can change until I become something more than what I am.

I'll post more boring vacation pictures on facebook this evening.

Try not to overload their server by rushing over to see all at once....

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted....

You had to know that post title was coming eventually....

I just realized one of the major bonuses to going private on the blog- I can post while on vacation about said vacation. All of you who read know we don't have anything good to steal at the house and you'd have to face Parker, who wakes up at the crack of noon every day, fiercely protecting the home from robbers and pirates who would even think of stealing Romy's extensive Squinkie collection.....Cool.

I'm sitting outside this morning at our campsite, the weather is gorgeous in the morning, the grounds are quiet, the kids and Matt are all sleeping in the pop up tent (Thank you so much Sam and Jason for letting us borrow it) and there are five little rabbits munching on the grass just a few yards from me.

Our campsite is great. It's a public campground in the Black Hills and there is a lot of shade and we have the site right behind the offices- Matt chose that one because it is close to the bathrooms and showers, I can see the playground from the front sitting area and it is more secluded from other campsites. People who go to the bathroom and office go around another way, so it is actually one of the more private sites- it also gets better Internet reception and we loved being able to watch Netflix last night and not have to worry about disturbing nearby campers.

If one must camp, this is a pretty good way to go, although I do wish Kate had remembered her pillow and I didn't have to give up one of mine.

Yes, I said one of mine....what?

 I remembered my pillows and I like to sleep with two.

I get points for sharing, Yo. :)

Day one of the trip landed us in Casper, Wyoming.

I love you, Nancy Jensen, but ugh...Wyoming.

That entire state is ugly. Ugly ugly ugly.

We still managed to have fun, though.

I grew up in the lush state of Arizona, and I am okay with a certain level of ugly, but Wyoming was too ugly to be allowed to stay in the Union.

We visited the Crazy Horse monument and Mount Rushmore yesterday.

They were awesome.

If you ever want to take the family- Crazy Horse costs 27 bucks a car to see and if you want to go right up close to the monument, you have to pay more for a bus.

We were a little grumbly about the price to enter until we learned why.

The story of this monument was incredible.

It is all funded by private funds, personal contributions of equipment and supplies or money made form the monument itself.

Korczak Ziolkowski wanted it to be something that the people who cared about the monument paid for themselves. if it took a million years to fund it, so be it, he does not want the government involved. Twice he turned down offers of money from the government to finish it and allow the site become a state run facility and he said no. He flet he owed it to the Lakota people, to not let the government take over one more thing that represented their people and the pride of their nations.

There is posted a quote from Red Cloud that Matt really was touched by "They made us many promises, more than I can remember, but they kept only one; they promised to take our land, and they did."

When looking into the monument's history, there is controversy surrounding t and many of the actual descendants of Crazy Horse think it desecrates their land. I think Koz was asked by the leaders of this people to put it there and he did everything in his power to keep the project respectful of the things they went through and the spirit they embraced. I don't know that anyone else would have turned down the millions of government dollars to finish the project and have such a great accomplishment finished in their lives. Koz died in the 1980's and his wife and children still keep the project going. It mattered to him HOW it was done and I don't know that another man would have passed up the recognition having the money to complete it in his lifetime would have brought.

We left feeling a little like 27 bucks wasn't actually hardly any money at all, considering.

 So, if you go it's spendy, but the money goes to support the building and keeps old Korzac from being a sellout.

FYI, one of his sons was named Casimir and we all nudged each other and smiled when we heard the name, Z. :)

After that it was only a 15 minute drive to Rushmore.

(That's only 11 bucks a car if you are thinking of going.)

So cool.

We took the little hike up closer to the base, it was easy, only about 10-15 minutes and something even little kids could easily do--so me and my bad back were able to do it without any problems.

I have heard people say it wasn't that neat, they thought it would be bigger, they don't see the lake from National Treasure that doesn't exist....

I think it was freaking awesome.

The kids thought it was awesome.

It was one of those things I always wanted to see.  It totally lived up to my expectations. We're fortunate to live near family, so when we vacation we can go and see cool things because the cool people live close.

I know that we are lucky and blessed in that.

As I have sat composing this post, the family woke up and are all sitting in camp chairs near me, eating bowls of Crunch Berries and slurping the milk as the birds chirp and the breeze blows.

This is the life, I gotta say.

I do love this life and these weirdos I I share it with.

I think our life makes Emma tired, though...

NYC Vacation

My head has been throbbing since last night. I think Matt and I were both fighting a flu during the trip and as soon as we stopped moving our bodies screamed in unison "Now I will have my revenge! How dare you ignore that tickle in your throat and slight feeling of having a nail stabbed in the base of your neck!"

We both hurt all over and have consumed more Nyquil than we probably should have to keep our temple recommends....

Next week should be interesting as we attempt phase 2 of vacation...the road trip.

As he did last week, Parker will stay home and house sit.

I took over 400 pictures in NYC.

Do you want to see them?

All of them?

Yeah, me neither and I was there.

I'll post some of my favorites and spare you the dozens of pictures of architecture and scenery- although I will sneak in a few.

Sometimes we got lost.

 Too bad Matt threw out that awesome watch with the compass he use to have......

We took the Staten Island Ferry twice, once at night just Matt and I, and then 2 days later with the kids.

This is the only time they were both happy in the same moment on that ride, that part was notsomuch fun.

The city is filled with parks and interesting sculptures

 I loved the rainbow against the black and gray city 

The Brooklyn Bridge

Dinner at Patsy's with good friends.

I've known Jen and Adrienne for 13ish years but never met IRL.

Great food and even better company- I love these two.

I ate enough pizza to kill a man.

We also ate at The Doughnut Plant EVERY morning because their donuts were so good I wanted to start a church just to worship them.

favorite picture of Matt from the trip

we stopped at a little waterpark in Central Park- that was just what we needed so the kids could run around and cool off in the middle of the day

 Hot dogs in Central Park

And a smooching my sweetie, too

The John Lennon Memorial spot.

This ended up being cooler than expected because we talked to the kids about who John Lennon was and what his vision of "imagine" was all about and the kids were really touched.

We left out the part about him being a rampant drug user and that whole Yoko Ono bit.

The Hershey Store in Times Square sold giant Reese's Cups.

Each cup was a full pound.

Too much for me, but they noshed on them off and on the whole stay.

I'll post more pictures on FB, but for now- my head is throbbing and I need to go back to bed.

If you get a collect call from one of our kids who say they are stranded somewhere by the side of the road in Wyoming because we threw them out of the car-- they won't be bluffing, please come and pick them up.

I warn you: Jane and Greyson get carsick, Romy refuses to entertain herself so she talks the whole time, Emma expects you to spend ten bucks on snacks just for her at EVERY gas station and Kate rolls her eyes at everything you dorky adults think is cool.

Just another reason why I buy the polygamy size container of Dramamine for our road trips......

The Post With Pictures I Stole From the Net....

Blog is now private.

Wheeee....The crowd goes wild......

 If you are part of my family, or a circle of friends and hear that someone says something about not being invited, will you please tell me because I did not intentionally exclude anyone, I just have oatmeal for brains and am not sure if I missed anyone.

There are a few women I have chosen not to have relationships with because, honestly, they are bonkers.

Not the fun kind of bonkers where they eat paste and talk to you about the years they spent being an orange.

Not even happy Tom Cruise crazy.

 They are the mean bonkers, like Evil Sith bonkers. 

Crafted from the bowels of Mordor bonkers.

  They are the ones I don't want in, everyone else is welcome.

I am a big believer that in life there should not be toxic relationships, just "jerks in my life I use to know."

When I try and try in a relationship and continually get lied to, lied about and punished for things that from my perspective were nothing like what the angry person felt happened but my opinion is repeatedly "wrong"-- I cut bait and accept that being in a relationship doesn't make EITHER of us and happiness and joy matter, for everyone.

Even those who I think are jerks.

 I know God doesn't think they are jerks, so I just set up boundaries and get distance so I am not a person who puts myself between them and whatever plan for happiness awaits them.

They don't on me anything, even if they hurt and offended me.

I can forgive pretty much anything, it's between me and my father in heaven and doesn't stipulate that the person who hurt me change, repent or do anything. The only requirement is that I get myself in a place where I'm not mad at them all of the time and keeping it alive in ME.

I wish those people total happiness- over there. 

 I makes both lives happier and less painful. relationships where there is mutual love are hard enough. Why spend time on relationships were you both actually can't see anything but the bad in one another?

Unfortunately sometimes when you build boundaries and stop participating in an unhealthy dynamic with them, they won't let go. They may tell you off, sue you, and badmouth you to everyone on Earth, but in their minds they still have an active relationship with you and they stay stirred up and act on that imaginary relationship.

I recently was made aware that there are a few loonies who read this, who I have not had contact with in years, and they truly believe every post here is somehow about them and written only to upset them or make them think something.

 Every stupid picnic and craft project we do is supposedly only here so I can send THEM a message.

Yeah, me and the aliens.....

My kids were targeted and Matt's girls were even placed in harm as innocent pictures were provided to someone who doesn't treat children in a way that is safe.

Attempts to contact and "convert" the kids were made by cyber stalking the kids, so they would know "the truth" about who their parents *really* were.

(Shhh....we actually ARE actually aliens, but thanks to this blog our cover is safe.)

I love this dumb blog, but I love my seven kids more and this blog exists so they can read through the years and truly see what it was like for me to be their mom and to be a part of this family.

This is my journal and there are good days, bad days and silly days.

Most days truly are good.

I am very aware that my life, my family, these friends and extended family I have-- they are all a miracle. I am blessed beyond words and even on days when I swear at the dog (it's an old habit I picked up in my years at the Alien Academy) I am a blessed and lucky woman.

There are few things I know as strongly as I know that happiness is a choice.

Bad day does not mean bad life.

I have the right life, I'm in the right place, these are the right people and this is the right path for me.

.

We will now resume our regularly scheduled boring blogging with an upcoming special this weekend:
Vacation Photos Nobody Cares About

Parts 1-100........

Last Call: an administrative note from Matt

This blog is a good thing.

It is a force for good in my life and my wife’s life and our children’s lives. It is a way to keep old friends engaged in our lives in a simple, quiet, and enjoyable way; it is a way to meet new friends who get to know us through the happy events in our lives.

It’s even a good thing for the lurkers who just drop by to hear Chris’s funny, wry comments on our life. I really like that.

It’s a way to memorialize the life we have and the happiness we get to share, and even some of the less good times. Not every post is all unicorns and rainbows, but none of posts are mean, unkind or cruel.

It’s a record for future generations, too, who will know all this about us and maybe not much else.

In other words, it’s real.

But it’s only a tool.

And like any tool, twisted people can use it to destroy and break down rather than create and lift up. And unfortunately, some people like that come here.

Some people are using this to hurt our children. They can’t stand that the kids could have one happy moment here, and their jealousy and selfishness spills out into real life, and they are cruel. Note to them: we’re not happy to spite you, we’re happy in spite of you.

Some people use it to hurt us because they think they’re in a war, an imaginary one where only one side is fighting, but they use any evidence that we still exist as fuel to keep their rage fresh, and that rage causes very bad behavior that harms others. Note to them: our happiness doesn’t come off your plate, and you can’t stop us from being happy anyway.

Some people use it to hurt themselves, by selling themselves out to the other two groups as a way to stay in good graces with these wicked people because they think that’s important somehow. Note to them: your “allies” don’t really like you, they’re using you; and you’re accountable for enabling their bad behavior.

We’ve always known about these people. We’ve tried tricks and spent money on tools to discourage them from seeing this blog, because if you are going to use a tool to do harm, then I’m going to try to take that tool from you. You don’t give a madman a gun. It hasn’t worked perfectly, but we’ve felt like it’s worked well enough—until now.

But, we’ve come to the point that it’s not enough, and we’ve decided to make the blog private. Too much harm is being done, and we’re wasting too much energy plugging the holes in a wall that only needs to keep a few specific people out.

We’re not happy about this. We hope, hope, HOPE you will give us your email and join us on the other side. Even you lurkers and friends of lurkers, and anyone in the future who might want to BE a lurker.

This is still an open blog in our minds, but we’re going to have to start checking ID at the door.

I’m sorry for the inconvenience, and if you leave us, it will be a loss. But know that you are welcome and if you ever want to come hang out with us (virtually, of course…I can’t afford to feed all of you) you are always most welcome to email us, and we’ll hook you up.

Leave a comment with your email address, or email us your email address.

Just What You Were Waiting For.....

A SHOE update, just hours after my original dumb post about shoes. :)

So.....

The Tom's are adorable and I love them.

They are also 55 bucks- money I was happy to spend on wicked cute shoes that were comfy.

They also buy a pair for an underprivileged child every time you buy a pair.

However....

Sketchers has a knock off...Bob's  that are nearly identical, the insoles are exactly the same, plus  they donate TWO pairs of shoes to a child in a third world country without feet or something.

And they are 20 bucks less.

Now you're speaking my language, Yo.

And the Bob's have a version that are cuter.

Way cuter.

So, I may not have the same shoes as the Hollywood hipsters that feel like they are changing the world when they buy shoes, but I think mine are freaking adorable.

 I'm going to be skipping through the streets of NYC.......

.........until my back gives out and then I'll have the cutest feet as I hobble through with my back brace and a walker.

Give Me One Reason..

Why I shouldn't go buy these shoes to wear on my trip to NY ....

Saying they are ugly doesn't count because I won't believe you.

Lordy, Lordy My Sweetie is Forty!!

Matt turned 40 yesterday.

Bwahahahahahaha.

Romy also turned 10.

She's in W. Virginia visiting her dad and family.

I miss her so much.

One more week and then they will be back with us and we will celebrate her big 1-0.

I miss both Roe and Grey a ton.

I also miss Zane, he's been gone a month. :(

The house is so quiet.

I had grand plans to completely transform the whole house into a sparkling palace with no unfinished projects.

I've slept in and watched a lot of Toddlers in Tiaras.

Don't mock me, odds are I am related to half of these crazy women parading their poor spoiled daughters to prepare the for a future filled with accolades such as Onion Festival Queen and Corn Princess.

Anyway, before the older girls left we celebrated Matt's big 4-0.

Fireworks and cheesy presents.

 We always get Matt an new collection of silly T shirts every year.

 He and Sheldon Cooper could have one heck of a yard sale if they wanted to.

Bazinga.

His big gift was boring, but we needed a lawn edger, Yo.

Two of the newly legal fireworks fell over when they were going off.

Super scary because it was shooting fireworks that exploded at us and the neighbor's house.

Oops.

legal doesn't mean safe, I guess.

Matt got hit right in the ankle with a rocket, but he's tough and didn't go all sissy on us.

I think he was just relieved that the Jeep didn't get damaged.

Katie loved the Exploding Bin Laden Noggin as much as I did.

 It may be tacky, but that was one funny firework.

Yesterday, to conclude the birthdayness, he get yet another cheesy T-shirt from me and Mom and Dad O. took us out to dinner.

Thank you so much, it is always fun to spend time with you guys.

Parker enjoyed his first prime rib.

Another kid hooked on an expensive  cut of meat Mommy will never buy for him,lol.