This Post Was Brought to You by Exhaustion & Tramadol

200 cards this year.

It is totally out of control.

I cut down my list last year and it bummed me out, so I sent a card to everyone I love this year.

I forgot that hours of addressing envelopes also bums a person out and makes me wonder if I actually love these people or just "like" them.

Someday I'll have a robot to do this for me.

Hmm..... my back medicine is working a little too well tonight.

Everyone knows robots hate Christmas.

Our family picture this year kicks all sorts of butt, btw.

I'll post it after these get mailed.

All 200 of them.

Oh Christmas Tree

Another clever and original title....

Last night we decorated the tree (for real.)

Sorry Dylan, we wanted a little more than a clump of candy canes in one spot for our final look.

The kids use to need a lot of help when we decorated the tree.

Now, I just sit back and say "go forth and decorate" and it gets done.

When I was a kid we weren't allowed to put so much as one strand of tinsel on the family tree.

I thought it pretty much sucked and wanted to end the "perfect tree" thing when I had kids.

I may not win any awards for style, but I have happy kids who enjoy the yearly event and talking about the stories behind the ornaments every year.

  

 I was going to do a second tree this year and have the tree in the living room free of all the crappy handmade things I have collected over the years, but with this being the last Christmas before Parker turns 18, I decided to stick with tradition and let Sunnie borrow the spare tree this year.

He noticed that I still have the first paper string of lights he made when he was 1. I put them up every year, but he only noticed this year.

Teenagers.

Zane cracked up at a reindeer ornament he made in 1st grade. He didn't want to do art so he gave Rudolph a frowny face.

 He's always been a little passive aggressive.

 As always, Matt put up the angel on the tree last.

It will always be the traditional "Dad" role in this event.

He takes out the trash, too and pays all the bills while I bake and sew.

Again, Hillary Clinton can kiss my grits.

You can see the frowny face reindeer in this picture and the happy face Zane.

They're still rotten kids, but I love them so.

--

Also, I went to the doctor today- we are almost certain my back issues stem from arthritis in the joints in my back. My spine had all sorts of ridges and cysts and burrs on it- whatever that means. I asked the doctor if it means I am a Stegosaurus and he gave me that "I am so sad for you" look that made me stop cracking jokes.

In a few weeks, we're going to do a new procedure....facet rhizotomy.

The nerves in my joints are going to get fried.

FUN!!!

Christmas Crud

(Have I mentioned lately that I love the Lomo filter for pictures?)

Yesterday the holiday baking and decorating began.

This year Romy was old enough and experienced enough that I could just ask her to make something and she did it without much help.

She made the candy cane brownies and the butterscotch haystacks.

I made the fudge and the toffee.

Sunnie and Dylan came over and the tree was up, but not decorated so we let him decorate the tree with Roe. Everything that isn't taller than Romy is now decorated on one side of the tree.

We'll redecorate it as a family tonight, they were adorable but I'd like to have more than a clump of candy canes on the tree this year.

We started to put up our regular decorations, too.

I bought these stockings the first year we were married. Red for girls, green for boys because I'm boring and traditional that way and if I destroy the last vestige of feminism in the girls by assigning them red Christmas stockings, so be it.

 Take that Hillary Clinton.

My cheap-o ghetto Nativity. I bought this when Parker was a baby. The figures are glued down and it once had hay and moss covering the roof and floor. I knew I was going to have kids ruin and lose the pieces of whatever nativity I bought so, I invested in a cheap kid- proof set.I am honestly surprised it hasn't been destroyed yet.

Those folks at the Superglue factory really know their stuff.

Baby Jesus isn't going anywhere.

My beloved Incredible Hulk tree with scary vintage Santa ornaments.

You don't want to make this tree angry.

My trio of jingle rainbow trees.

 I keep waiting for these to break, but they somehow survive being used as a rattle and a spear by kids every year.

And just to be safe.........

Hmmm... I love her so much, but I think Santa needs to get her one of these instead:

Black Friday Adventures

Last week the kids were being terrible.

All 7 of them were snapping at each other, whining and being all around buttheads.

Mom was sick of it and as we drove in the car to the movies I finally hit my limit of the nonsense.

I'm not one to rag on a kid in a car but I wasn't going to drop all that money on Harry Potter just to have it filled with brat behavior.

I told the 3 littles that if they didn't shape up, they'd be sorry and it was stupid to act up this close to Christmas shopping.

They all snickered at my brazen ignoring of the whole Santa aspect, they thought they were catching me in some revelation that I know they all already knew.

So I said it.

I said "I don't just tell Santa-- I AM Santa."

The little ones bugged their eyes out.

Mom openly admitted it.

The youngest is 9, they ALL knew.

I didn't destroy the dream.

The older ones started laughing really hard and saying in their best terminator voices "I don't just tell Santa...I AM SANTA."

My children are wicked, rotten children and they all deserve lumps of coal and oranges in their stockings.

Every year I swear I'm skipping the madness and every year I grab my coat and do it anyway.

Black Friday.

There are places I refuse to go on Black Friday- Walmart is a nightmare and Toys R Us is notoriously scary.

Walmart had some great deals though and I was happy to see them all available online with 97 cent shipping at 1:00 am.

Done and done.

I woke up at about 7am and took a long hot shower, just like the teenagers do. I called Sunnie and picked her up from her apartment downtown. I was still a little tired though and I got on the wrong freeway. I didn't realize it wouldn't take me to where I needed to go until I went way too far. Embarrassingly too far.

I was by Lagoon.

Doh.

In my defense, I was listening to a really mediocre book on my ipod and it was distracting me from noticing I left the entire county behind as I kept driving like a moron.

After I turned around and went back to the land of Zion, we hit Target and Old Navy. Target always has a really good system going on and they tend to have plemty of the good deals in stock so we got in an out of there easily, Old Navy had a crazy long line, but I bought way more stuff than I planned on. They had some great deals. We decided to brave one more store because it had the gift I wanted to get my mother in law and then I took Sunnie home.

Okay, I had Sunnie drive because can't fond my way around Salt Lake City to save my life apparently.

I then hit the mall and was stunned at what a wreck JC Penney was and how horrible they handled Black Friday. There was nothing I wanted enough to deal with that chaos.

I'd had enough of all of it anyway so I grabbed a Blizzard from Dairy Queen and headed home with the loot.

Emma.....done.

Greyson......done.

Zane.......done.

Kate....done except for one more thing.

Parker....two more things needed.

Jane & Romy.....still working on it.

Today.....I bake.

How did you do?

I'm Ready for the Madness

The dishes are done, the leftover sandwich fixin's are ready for the family tomorrow and my alarm is set to get up and start Christmas shopping in the morning.......

I'll be up at 1am to hot the Walmart sale- but only online. I'm not leaving the house until the sun is up and then Sunnie and I will shop until the sales end or we decide it's not worth it and we just go to Denny's instead.

Is it really worth it for four dollar Zhu Zhu pets?

No, but breakfast with my baby sister...totally worth it.

Thanksgiving 2010

Yesterday I woke up at 7 am and started baking. I made these 4 pies and 2 big pans of homemade rolls. Even though we were just doing a tiny Thanksgiving I have teenage boys and they need those carbs in order to sustain them through a long day of playing video games and sleeping.

The dutch apple used apple pie filling I canned last year, it was cool to use that. I made up a recipe for the chocolate snicker's pie and it ended up being as hard as a rock so we threw it out. The flavor was great but it was too chewy. Pie shouldn't be chewy. There was also a cherry and a pumpkin pie that my good friend Mrs. Smith's made for us.

Lisa made 2 pumpkin pies as well with pumpkin she grew from her garden, so we had plenty of pie.

Since we were just doing an itty bitty Thanksgiving, of course the family wanted TWO main dishes.

Spoiled. Spoiled. Spoiled.

I made a Dijon mustard brown sugar ham
and a Creole seasoned turkey, the same as I always do.

I think I have only messed up the turkey one time in my 17 years of making turkeys and that was last year when I didn't realize my oven runs a little cold and I hadn't thawed the turkey fully beforehand. This year it was a nice juicy flavorful turkey with buttery crispy skin.

The way I have the most success with turkey is that I inject melted butter and seasonings right into the turkey before cooking it and for the first half of cooking, I cook it upside down in the roasting pan. This keeps the breasts from drying out and overcooking. For the last hour I crank up the heat and let the skin get brown and it always cooks up evenly.

Cooking it this way does tend to break the little pop up thermometer, so if you use my tip- keep that in mind.

Rora took two bites of everything and was then full, the boys ate like they'd never seen food before in their lives and we all had a nice, calm and easy visit with the Tests. Afterwards we went to the family room and watch Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, which is just about the best movie of 2010.

I am very blessed in my life and thankful for the many tender mercies the Lord has shown me. I have an amazing and hot as can be husband who is a hard worker and takes care of all of us, I have kids who are healthy, good looking and too smart for their own good, family who loves me and puts up with me when I'm acting less than lovable, perfect neighbors, a fantastic ward and friends I can count on. I have a life that enables me to be the kind of Mom I wanted to be and if this is as good as it gets-- that is 100% okay with me.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

Snowpocalypse Cometh....

Yesterday Parker had his first car accident.

It wasn't his fault, the other driver got the ticket, but she sideswiped the entire side of the car and damaged all 4 panels. The front headlight is toast and you can't open the driver's side door. Odds are it will cost more to fix the car than the car is worth, so we will have to decide if we just get the Bonneville in driving condition or if we need to find a new teenager car.

The Bonneville was supposed to last through at least Kate's driving years and we anticipated it being bumped and scratched up by the time we were done with it. This may just be too much damage, but we'll know more after we take it to the shop.

Nobody was hurt and the officer on scene made it clear that this was 100% the other driver's responsibility so that's a blessing. The gal that hit him was another student at the school and she and her mom were both very nice about everything and I'm glad it wasn't a hostile situation. Everyone was okay and cars can be replaces, people can't. People matter more and I am glad the Mom of the girl that hit Parker was pleasant to deal with.

But ugh- what a pain in the rear this is going to be. All day the news reports were talking about this big storm we had coming and how it was going to shut the whole town down for a long time.

Stores were full of people not only buying Thanksgiving supplies but preparing for the worst. My house was pretty well stocked and we didn't need to make a store run to get ready for the big storm of the century.

Businesses closed down and everyone braced themselves for the storm. Once it started, the kids got excited and we went outside to go and play in the blizzard.

We got about 6 inches in 20 minutes and then it was just cold- super cold.
Nothing stuck to the trees and nobody lost power. It was much worse last Saturday when the snow was wet and heavy and it took out trees and power everywhere.

So, the big life ending Snowpocalypse ended with more of a wimper.

That's fine with me.

It is so cold outside and the house is nice and warm as I bake pies and rolls for out little Thanksgiving we have planned for tomorrow.

Sunday Changes

This weekend we took the kids to see the new Harry Potter movie. I really need to get off my rear and read the books. The movie was really good and the kids enjoyed it. It was nice to have a family outing where all 7 kids wanted to do the same thing for a change.

When we left the theater it was snowing pretty hard.

We woke up the next morning to a good 10-12 inches of snow.

It is so pretty, but then, I don't have shoveling duties with my back out. Matt was out running the snow blower at 6am, clearing out yard and the neighbor's and it took him 2 hours to finish because the snow was so heavy.

He came in and announced that winter was officially here and the season had changed.

At church, another season of change was announced.

We have a new Bishop.

I've never been in a ward where they leadership changed, so it was a new experience for me and the kids.

How we have loved Bishop Kendall. He has been an inspiration, a friend and such a good leader to our family. He is the Bishop who helped us become a forever family, he is the bishop who inspired me to really get some eternal perspective on things. Life is bigger than some of the stupid and petty things we obsess over, life is sweeter and life is better than all of the muck we sometimes choose to wallow in.

Man is that he might have joy.

I learned this from Bishop Kendall. It became more than words, it became a part of my heart and my soul through his kind leadership and counsel. When he spoke, the spirit was strong and his gentle heart, his humility and his faith had such an impact on me and on our family. We all know Bishop Kendall loves us and he trusts us. When he showed faith in us, we were better able to show faith in one another and in the Lord and learned so many valuable life lessons and eternal truths because of that.

His wife has become a friend and during the time she has been at knit night, I was able to see how many ways she also helped our family as she supported him and took on her shoulders some of the weight and stress her husband dealt with not just as Bishop to the ward, but as he helped our specific family through some hard times. Corrine was carrying that weight as well and I am so thankful for her.

I don't know our new bishop very well, he's been in the High Council ever since we moved here, but I'm excited to see what this next season has in store.

On another note....Zane made this tool box in wood shop. He is in the advanced class because he really enjoys working with the tools and with the wood. The handle is actually 5 different pieces of wood molded and pressed together.

It looks great, Birdie. Good job.

We finished of our snowy weekend with hot cocoa and Catan. We made the mistake of allowing Grey to play and I love him but he's just too spazzy to not irritate everyone. I finally paid him two dollars to quit.


More snow is headed our way, we're going to have a cold and quiet Thanksgiving here at the house. We're feeling pretty overwhelmed by how many events we have going on in December and we needed to just let go of the rope on some events. Since we only have 4 kids this holiday, the big Thanksgiving did not make the final cut and we're just having a small quiet dinner at home.
Well.... maybe not as quiet as I'd like, but we're hunkering down here in the big grey house with the red door and staying put.

Turkey Bowl

Every November our ward has a YM Vs Elders Quorum Turkey Bowl.

Every year the YM whine about how early in the morning it is and how cold it is. Every year Parker especially tries to make sure nobody would ever accuse him of being athletic and Zane lets those rugby cells in his body start working and manages to knock a few of the "old men" over.
Every year at least one of the Elders needs to be taken home in the middle of the game to face his wife because he got hurt.

Every year the Elders start strong and crush the boys until the second half of the game when the stamina of youth starts to overtake the tired bodies of husbands and fathers. Then you hear a lot of wheezing and the young men start to make fun of the tired Elders.

Every year the following Sunday you can hear the sounds of the Elders as they complain about how sore they are and how it sucks to get old.

We wouldn't have it any other way.

The Basement and Other Bad Words

I had a bad day yesterday.

In spite of kids being home sick, it started off just fine, but by the end of the day I was burned out and feeling sensitive and it was a hide in the bathroom and cry in the tub kind of night.

I said many bad words.

I declared a season of  "Everyone can get bent."

I thought about kicking the dog, but then the cat really had it coming...... (kidding)

 I went downs stairs, to the cave, and hid.

Our basement is a scary place.

It's full of spiders and dust and for a long time it was the worlds biggest mess.

I've been working on it some every day lately. I can't really explain it but I have had this "nesting" sort of bug going on. I'm cleaning closets and cupboards and basements.

This spring I finally started consistently  having a house that was clean enough for company pretty much any time in any room but my bedroom. I've been taking it to the next level in recent weeks.

 I am glad to announce that our food storage is no longer sitting in grocery bags on the concrete down there. It's all on shelves. It's disorganized and we'd only make it about 3 months on the amount we have, but we also have 9 people in our family.

Old clothes are now stored away in bins. Papers are in boxes and pictures of exes and old papers we had because we were too lazy to toss them are gone from our house.

The scrap area is ready to be sorted. Everything is stacked up on the table- it's a nightmare but it's not scattered all over the floor any longer.

Our work in progress Master bedroom needs two more boards and then we can start wiring. Once the wiring is done, I know how to do the drywall and we are moving down into the cave, hoping to one day transform it into a complete livable space. Of course, the spiders will need to agree with it, but I have high hopes that we can work something out.

And I'm in a pretty crappy mood today, but I have chocolate and a full prescription of "do not give a damn" if I need it.

On Being a Sheep

I taught the lesson in Relief Society Sunday morning.

I really enjoy this calling for two reasons. One is that you only have to really do it every other month, the other is that I always, always find some answer to something that I've been struggling with. I think that's the nature of all church callings although I never once had any profound life lessons shared with me when I was teaching Sunbeams. I was 22 years old at the time with a toddler and one on the way and I may have been a bit overwhelmed with a room full of hyper 3 year olds with potty training issues.

Back to my point, this week my lesson was on Baptism. I read the lesson with the same challenge I have every time- how to teach something or reawaken something in the wonderful women of my ward with a topic that everyone knows everything about. It's not like my lesson was going to be able to inspire anyone to get baptized, they'd all been there and done that.

I focused on the things we covenant when we choose to get baptized, based on what Alma said in the Book of Mormon.

One of the things that stood out was a promise to be "one of His fold."

I thought of how often people are criticized for simply being one of those 'mindless sheep.' I thought of how often that accusation is used to cut down and diminish a person who is simply choosing to be obedient. It's said to make them feel stupid for keeping their promises that they made to God.

Here's the thing with being a sheep.......I know that I follow the Good Shepherd.

One of my favorite theological ideals, that I believe I read in the Dali Lama's book, The Art of Happiness, is the idea that many paths lead to God.

I believe this, but only one path leads to the Celestial Kingdom. I don't just want to find the Lord, I want an eternal family, I want the Celestial Kingdom  and there is one path that leads where I want to go.

 I choose that path and I choose to follow the only person I know who can and promises to lead me there. I do not know the way on my own, I tried. I get myself lost too many times to rely only to my own understanding to find the place I want to go. I have also relied on others. I've relied on wisdom, I've relied on  society to help lead me to the place I want to be.

No luck.

 I get pretty close, but the place I want to be is rather specific.

I have a leader and that leader is Jesus Christ. I follow him as an educated, conscious choice, not as some blind sheep who doesn't think for herself. Heaven knows, nobody who has ever met me would ever accuse me of not thinking for herself. And I make a choice. I choose to follow He who knows the way to the place i want to go, the place I choose to go.

I can always make another choice.

I can always find another path and following a good, trustworthy leader does not mean I turn my brain off and hop on the spiritual and mental moving sidewalk. It's still work and I still have to overcome the obstacles and challenges and dark, hard times. It is still scary and it is still very, very hard.

But I try to hear the voice of the Shepherd and follow that voice because I KNOW he will lead me to the place I want to be.

I want a forever family- yes, even the moody teenagers.

I want joy and peace.

I want light and I want forgiveness.

I want healing and I want to be encircled in the arms of his love.

I want to be with my dear husband for eternity.

So I chose to follow.  I choose to be part of this fold.

And it isn't the choice for everyone. Not everyone wants the things I want and not everyone thinks and feels the way I do and I love that we are all free to choose and that many paths DO lead to happiness and to God. I love the gift of free agency and would never ever think what I choose for me is the choice someone else should make. It's the choice I make and it feels right to me and makes me happy. 

So I am a sheep, I follow. Not always as well as I should  and sometimes I am entirely too whiny and stubborn about it, but I follow the Good Shepherd and he will not lead me into danger. I trust him. I want to be where he is at and I hope that I can continue to follow him.

So....Baaaa.

(Photo credit: Lawrence Rillera via Flickr)

My Kingdom For a French Fry....

When I was 15 years old I spent almost a year living with my aunt and uncle in Indiana.

To say I suffered from culture shock is an understatement, but in time I got use to it and even made some life long friends there.

One of the best parts of living in West Lafayette was making trips to Rally's with either my cousin Marla, or my best friend Tara. Rally's has these batter dipped french fries that are so good, when I would go there I would spend my burger money on fries.

So stinkin' yummy.

They have a Rally's in Tempe, Arizona and every time I was out in that area, I hit Rally's. It's on the way home from the Phoenix Zoo and my reward for taking the kids out for a day of sweltering heat and monkey poop- was a nice order of Rally's French Fries.

It was always a treat.

Utah has no Rally's.

None.

When Matt went to Chicago I was excited to take him to Rally's because there were two in Chicago. One day we hopped on the train and headed to the South Side to go and when we got off, we knew within 3 seconds that we never should have left the train. The South Side of Chicago is bad bad news for two big dumb stupid towheads from Salt Lake City.

Matt insisted it was okay and we walked the block to Rally's.

Rally's that had been boarded up and covered in graffiti.

As we decided what to do, I watched someone making some sort of sale from the trunk of a car. I'm hoping it was just Omaha Steaks or Girls Scout Cookies.

I got to witness graphic gestures of the "cover your eyes" nature by a couple of men who walked by and laughed at how much Matt and I did not belong in that neighborhood.

We had to get out of there and got on the very next bus going anywhere else that we could find.

Stupid stupid stupid.

Even Rally's fries were not worth getting shot.

Close, but not quite.

Today while doing the grocery shopping I discovered this  new item in the freezer case:

It would seem that the cosmos have forgiven me for getting off the Red Line in South Chicago.

Rally's Fries have come to Salt Lake City.

Time to break out the deep fryer and gain 10 pounds.